I may have "shot myself" (ironically, because I'm obsessive), but I couldn't help having a thought that my OCD may get worse in the future... and now I'm stuck with that thought. (I've never had rituals, just a lot of guilt —that, when it hits, weights a ton —coming from family issues when I was little).

Two years ago I only had 5 mg of Olanzapine per day. My T removed the medication after gradually reducing it, then after some months without it I had a relapse.

I got back to the same dose and continued for almost a year, then the same procedure of removal.

Then again I had a relapse, but this time it was stronger (to the point that I could not think at all and "run away" from my dad's house because I thought I was being pursued by him and then by the police) and was given 10 mg of Olanzapine and 20 mg of Fluoxetine per day.

Now I'm having the amounts that are specified in my signature. My T has always insisted that it is a "maintenance" dose and that I should not worry about it, that it is just to kick the obsessive symptoms, but well I can't help being worried about the future. I know it's dumb to do so, but I need some reassurance.

Of course, I will talk about this in the next session.

Thanks for your time.