This may be triggering, apologies...

So, I'm doing well with not harming, nearly ten weeks!
Yesterday I wanted to, and managed not to.

Today I am thinking....what's the point in not doing it? It takes effort and energy to distract myself, reason out of doing it...I will inevitably do it at some point soon so what difference does it make how long I managed before I did it?

I try to go over old scars so I don't create new ones, I don't cut deep, no one will see....why am I bothering not to?

Sorry.