healingme4me wrote:
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Frankly, if placed into a position of needing to make all the initiative, I'd personally be annoyed.
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"Annoyed" was a word that crossed my mind, too, when I was reading the original post.
I think it's a bit of a red flag that the guy has never complimented the original poster. Anyone else?
This post had me thinking back to some guys I met when I was in my 20s. If a guy doesn't give off signals that he's attracted to you (or if they are extremely hard to read), I used to think that one of two things was going on: that 1) he was shy, and if he was attracted, at some point he'd feel secure and everything would be okay.
The alternative was 2) he is never going to take the initiative in anything. Some people might be okay with this, but I always just found it annoying. This is the guy who will never offer ideas about what he wants to do on a date and who orders the same thing you do every time you go out to eat.
I can't say what they'd be like in a day-to-day relationship - I never managed to put up with a non-decider for that long.
I'm not sure now that my conclusions at that age were valid about the "two types" but I am less apt now to tolerate ambiguity in relationships. I'm depressed, I'm tired a lot of the time. If I can't tell where something is going, I move on. If someone isn't sure what they want, I don't want to be their experiment while they figure it out.