Thank you Angela and Wendy for helping me through this wait. I have three more days to go. We had a nice evening last night after the kids went to bed. We both took showers and laid in bed all clean and comfy. We messed around and we just talked about little things. It felt good. A nice relief in this long period of anxiety.

I don't know what will happen. I just know it can't be the same. I need the change but can he tolerate it? I have been working on myself for a long time. I know how much it hurts to dig into those things that stunt our growth and our happiness. I know that I can live through it...well most of the time I know I can and if I forget I know how to make it tollerable. I am asking him to do the same thing. To dig into the dirt and pull out the worms. I don't know if he is ready and I can't make him do it. But at the same time I have reached a point where I can't tollerate the emotional system we have operated under so long. I feel a little guilty for demanding a change in the rules but I have too.
Carrie