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Old Sep 07, 2015, 05:01 PM
BudFox BudFox is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 3,983
Quote:
Originally Posted by Favorite Jeans View Post
Whatever kind of parents you had, do you feel that your unmet childhood needs have manifested in your attachment to your T? Have you formed that kind of intense parental attachment to people other than T (& other than your parents!)? How do you feel about having that attachment? If you've worked through it and felt it's intensity lessen, did you specifically notice that some unmet need had been fulfilled?
Good questions. I believe my parenting was pretty troubled, especially my mother. Lot of emotional neglect and a lot of emptiness. Last year a female T who was very attuned to me seemed to unleash old longing. It was mixed in with very real adult attraction and feelings for her, so pretty muddy picture, but I do think I was responding from a place of deep unmet needs. This was a singular experience in my life. I was not able to work thru it, because we terminated and then things went very badly.

I find attachment theory quite interesting and helpful but I think ideas about how it manifests in therapy are pretty speculative. I also wonder how much of the intense attachment or dependence in therapy is induced by the process, out of proportion to the client's personal history or wounds. And also how healthy or prudent it is to reawaken such needs in an artificial quasi-parental relationship.
Thanks for this!
Favorite Jeans