It's certainly for no one else to tell you how to feel, I understand, but I hope you will not be offended if I say I think it's really unfortunate. I was childless and unmarried at 45 and living in someone's basement with no friends after the place I worked closed down. Not quite rock bottom but going no where fast.

From there, I went on to a new job and just happened to also find the love of my life and now we are coming up on our 3rd weeding anniversary, all in the span of 5 years. Now, thanks to her I would say, I am happy most of the time, but not content. I still have lots of issues, and I feel I have a lot of unfulfilled potential. It seems to me I have a long way to go to achieve contentment but just like with happiness, but I hope to keep trying. In the mean time, my life is far better than I could have even imagined, back then. I really hope the same for you.

I know it's hard when you get to that point where it just doesn't seem like you have it in you any more to even try to have some real quality of life because all you can feel is a dull pain all over. I think that just means it's time for a really good rest, lots of sleep, laying about listening to your favorite music really loud, basically, being slobby. A day or 2 or 5 never killed anyone. It seems to recharge my emotional batteries and then I take a deep breath and head into the breach again.

I would say having one or the other is doing pretty well to start with, but I believe if you don't give up you can achieve both. Try not to limit your options and just do as much as you have the energy and strength for and I think eventually, it can get a lot better.