((safe hug)) It's tough to see you in such turmoil... and while you may have some good reasons to be in the relationship you are in, I would advise not to advance it any further until you have worked on your issues of the past. There is a great book about PTSD, The Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Sourcebook by Schiraldi.... there is much there that you can learn and do for yourself.

PTSD never goes away, and at this point there is no "cure" for it...but with expert help (therapy with someone whose expertise is ptsd/anxiety disorders) you can learn to live a manageable and somewhat enjoyable life.

Bringing someone into your intimate personal areas is really not advised until you do... you wouldn't want to ruin (or rather, have the PTSD ruin) what you have at this point, I'm sure. MOST others in our lives have no clue what PTSD does to someone...even when a T explains it over and over to them, they just don't get it...

Sounds like right now you need a very calm, uneventful, quiet lifestyle (removing triggers) and find a baseline of "doable" living.