Quote:
Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend
See here's the thing: I've gotten where I am solely by myself; I've never had anybody show me love. I spent most of my years recovering from an abusive childhood while trying to learn all that I can about myself, improve myself, and make something of myself. I have my own freelance/resell business that is just now that is starting to grow exponentially. In fact, I'm at the point to where not only am I almost successful, but I have a high probability of becoming a multimillionaire well before I'm 30 (I'm 24 now).
I did all of this alone. Fact is, I don't need anybody to help me get through life; I'm perfectly capable of getting ahead myself. I've survived this long and I could very well go centuries by myself if it weren't for my biological limitations.
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Well, if you come from an abusive past, then I can understand why you have trust issues. I'm kind of in the same boat, just interested in short term flings, friends with benefits and afraid of commitment, but right now I don't see the need to get over that and spend my whole life with anyone just yet.
But here's the thing: you don't need to give up your individuality and completely lose yourself in someone else just to have a committed relationship with them. That has always been my fear, but true intimacy is about two independent individuals being friends, first and foremost, and sharing each other's company because they WANT to, not because they're desperate. I come from an upbringing where my mom was very submissive, fearful and dependent on my dad, with not much of any power over the relationship, and it seemed like my dad never respected my mom and ALWAYS made unilateral decisions for her. Typical dominant/submissive relationship. Then he divorced her and she had to scramble to find her own feet and survive, though she's doing better now. I think that may have something to do with why I fear commitment with somebody. I don't want to become trapped and engulfed like my mom.