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Originally Posted by E_Hyde
Besides social anxiety (and agoraphobic tendencies) I have a serious driving anxiety. Losing control of a car is a recurring scenario of my nightmares. Even just driving up the street, even on a route I've traveled countless times before, I feel frequent bouts of anxiety and panic.
It contributes to my social anxiety, as when I do socialize with people and a situation comes up which might require me to drive, I have to find a way out of that situation. I'm always making excuses and trying to avoid the subject with people I don't know well. Sometimes, I try to explain and people don't get it, and instead give me the old "you just need to push yourself and face your fears!" line which isn't helpful and just makes me feel more alienated.
I resisted learning to drive, and only got my license just in time for college (I passed the driving test on the first try, by 1 point). I managed to drive to my first college for two years on a short route, and my second college for three years, which was a much longer route.
Generally it's easier for me if I get used to a route to drive with less anxiety, but if I have to go somewhere new, if there's road work, an accident, anything that disrupts the normal route and routine, then I'm in panic mode and can barely stand it.
Since finishing college, and losing my only offline job, a few years ago, I've rarely driven. I rely on family for rides and work online sporadically. I was pulled over years ago (on a false accusation) and that made everything much worse. My most recent driving experience was, in an attempt to force myself to get used to it again, driving my girlfriend to a movie, and I was so nervous and terrified that I broke out in hives that lasted for days.
Does anyone else suffer from this anxiety, and if so, how do you deal with it? Any advice is appreciated!
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Not to the extent that you seem to, but I learned to drive late because a medical issue kept me from learning in high school. Actually, I passed my driver's test at 15, but then got sick and wasn't able to drive until I was about 19-20ish.
Honestly, I hate the way people drive where I live. The difference between me and everyone else isn't that I'm a better driver, it's that I know I suck and try to find ways to minimize my time on the road.I still have days where I get anxious about driving because I have to go somewhere new or know I'm going to have to make left turns across traffic to get somewhere.
Music might be useful to you. I know for some people they look at music as a distraction, but I have this weird hyper-awareness of everything going on outside my car and it helps me to filter out the sounds so that I'm not constantly wanting to jump when I hear a car or motorcycle drawing up on my left. I don't know why, but I seem to have a thing about the left side of the car. (I was probably British in a past life.)
I find it helps to look up where I'm going online before I head that way. Google maps to get a look at what the street is like if you are able to. Plot alternate routes for in case the main one you see online is blocked off. If you need to go out to run errands, organize the places on your list so that you can make a circuit that will bring you closer to your back to your home so that you don't end up having to drive from one side of town to the other. Have as many errands as possible at one time so that you can get them done in one day and not have to feel anxious about going out multiple times during the week. Feel free to decline if anyone wants to hit a street that is not on the way to the places you need to go because you've already committed yourself to a route.
If you have a few days before you have to be somewhere, drive by when you have some spare time a day or two before so you can see if there's any construction and you can plan how you want to enter it. Maybe let someone else drive you over to the area you are going, and study the path that they take.
Also, leaving your house early so that you have the extra time to find a new route if there is an accident or construction also seems to help. Also, that gives you time to drive a bit slower so that you can keep more space between you and other cars so that if someone nearby gets into an accident you have more time to stop from adding to the mess. That way you don't feel the added pressure of anticipating being late on top of freaking out about how that could have been you in that car that's being scraped off the sidewalk.