(((((((((huggs))))))))))

For me I'm not gay.. or have those types of feelings.. just not me is all..

But, I have always been there for her.. for her recent 2 surgeries ... she has had a blessed life - no real hardships.. and plenty of money.
I am the type of friend that would give up a kidney or 1/2 a liver in a heartbeat if it would help.

I have always excused her selfeousness.. we all have our character flaws..
But when she recently attacked me,,, made me feel so inadquate so that she could feel good about herself - something "snapped" in me and I asked myself and what am I really doing here.. caring more for a person that is doing this to me.

She did e-mail me, apologized.. but she was sorry for "upsetting me" , not about the terrible things she said.
It was like I was an "object" to her,,, not a person...
She then said, that she "only" has time for me when she is "tired" ie resting.. and that is when she is upsetting me.. so she is "afraid" to call me.. case I "take" something the wrong way..

Well as I say "hells bells"... I'm not fragile.. and hey.. don't bother.. either take the time to put me in your life or don't..if I'm important to you.. you don't work.. you are retired.. And you can't find a 1/2 hour in a week to call your best friend when you are not tired. Hmmmm..

my rant is now done.. thanks for listening..

my sadness continues.