hello mandyfins,well i definitly agree that from what you've described you don't seem narcisstic. my first thought was that you seem "egocentric" thats a term often used to describe how children process events primarily concerning their family systym.children are "self blamers" because of their immature perception/belief that the world does somehow revolve around them and that they are therefore responsible for it. how long have you been aware of this aspect of your personality? you seem fully aware that it's irrational and that its interfering with your relationships,you're here asking questions,and those are good things imo.I have done pretty much the same thing that you're talking about in my adolescense/early adulthood,for me it had to do with not feeling special enough in my family. i know you'll work through this,because you seem motivated to.good luck!