Quote:
Originally Posted by Secretum
I am a 24 year old bisexual female who has never been in a relationship. I am currently seeing a guy (not officially my boyfriend yet). We have been on 3 dates, and there is the expectation on both sides that we will have more. I feel a sense of mutual respect and admiration.
Since I have never been in a relationship before, I don't know how fast things are supposed to move in terms of physical and verbal affection.
On our last (3rd) date, we held hands. I initiated the hand holding, but he seemed to really enjoy it. That is the furtherest we've gone physically.
I don't feel ready to go "all the way" with him yet, but I would like to kiss him. Is it weird that we have not kissed yet, after 3 dates?
He is a very reserved, thoughtful guy. It's kind of funny, because he will wait until there are literally no cars coming before crossing the street, even if a car stops and waves him forward. He is very polite and kind to me, and treats me with a lot of respect. There is something really wonderful and soft and feminine in him that I really like, but I think it may be stopping him from being a little more aggressive physically.
Could his personality be why he has never initiated anything physical? He is afraid of harassing me or making me feel uncomfortable, so I always have to make the first move?
I am very bad at reading body language, so I have no idea if he has been giving me verbal signals that he would like to kiss.
He has never given me any verbal signs of affection either-no compliments or anything.
Should I ask him on our next date how fast he wants this relationship to move? In case he wants more too, but is afraid that I don't? Would it be acceptable to ask him to kiss me? I know it would be awkward...
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Let him lead the relationship for now. It's still very early. If you want to kiss him next time, simply lean in for one. You don't ask him, you give him the "green light".
You don't ask him how fast he wants the relationship to move either. It needs to move at a pace that is comfortable for both of you. Too fast, is no good, too slow is no good either. If he is contacting you consistently and scheduling proper dates, go with the flow. Don't start asking questions like this. The only question you need to be clear on right now is whether or not you are both on the same page in terms of overall dating goals. Not specifically with you yet. As long as you both are looking for the same thing in general, great.