Sounds like a very hard session. I hope you can still feel your connection that your Tt tried so hard to reestablish. It will get you through the harder moments.

Have you started taking your meds again? I hope you are keeping yourself healthy and safe. What would you say to one of your clients if they just dumped their meds? This worries me.

It sounds like you and your T have a strong relationship. I'm glad you were able to talk about the suicidal thoughts. I'm amazed at how many people don't admit to these feelings and just expect their T to "guess" what is happening inside their head.

Please take care of yourself.