If it is about the meds, I also believe you should stay on the meds and maybe even talk to a pdoc about some changes (if this is what you choose). Believe me I am not poking fun at you, but read your post again. You bounced from one subject to another and the whole paragraph was one sentence. The reason I point this out, is for me personally when I'm hypo manic or manic this is how my brain works. Maybe you are different than me, and this is just you, if that makes any sense at all. I wish you the best.