If it truly hinges on scrounging up enough money, then yes, I think something is seriously rotten. And I hope I'm wrong because it feels terrible to say that knowing your situation and your relationship with her.

BUT

More importantly, and more positively.... I think that phone call actually means working out a suitable fee, one that you can definitely afford, because that's her professional and personal obligation to you given the therapeutic relationship you two have.

I feel she's been thrown way off her base for a while due to the serious diagnosis, and to me that explains the recent uncomfortable interlude. (I'm not saying it's a non-issue or to "let it go" not at all, just that I can make a lot of sense of it given the news.)

And now I think, based on all your prior posts... that she should be there for you and that means in a *manageable* for you way.

Once I thought my therapist was letting me down/pushing away... and she and I have some history like you and yours...

and I said to her "I am NOT letting you off the hook." or along those lines, that I was holding her to her commitment and fighting for the relationship. Turns out I did not need to, but I was glad I realized it and said it - that we were on a journey together and it wasn't over yet.

P.S. I just read the part about you being referred to her practice if you couldn't pay out of pocket. That threw me for a loop. I hope there is a miscommunication there. I deeply hope it.