I'm sorry your mom wasn't a better mother to you. Do you and your dad live in the same town? If so, you could plan occasional activities together. What common interests do you have?

When my mother died, I discovered my dad had Alzheimer's. He and I hadn't a very good relationship since I was a teenager, but when it was just the two of us we spent much more time together. We found movies, music, and books we both enjoyed. Do you and you father have much in common?

I left home after high school, and coming back after my mom died was a frazzling experience. My dad couldn't be counted on to make good decisions, but he saw me as a child. Presumably you don't have this situation with your dad, but I find that many parents have difficulty relating to their children as adult children.

Both my parents are gone now. There are times that I really miss them. It's hard being an adult, hard making wise choices. I have no close relatives, so there are times I feel quite sorry for myself--having no one to depend on but me!

For what it's worth, you aren't alone in feeling as you do. That transition from child to adult varies from person to person. It may be two or three years ... it could be a decade or more. But somehow, when we need to be there for ourselves, we are. Life itself has a way of preparing us by the experiences we survive.

Take care & be good to yourself. Enjoy your relationship with your dad as much as you can, but don't put his good in front of your own. The better you are to yourself, the more you'll have to offer others who may enter your life.