Weather's getting better, no more grey sky, and the act of eating changed my mood slightly for the better, I didn't know it could do that. I skipped proper dinner and went for a bowl of serial though.

My room got clean, the living area looks good now, with few exception of course. I took aspirine twice today to ward off annoying headaches, it was quick and worked perfect. A cigarette, a pen and my Kindle slipped off my hand, and it took me 4,5 tries to plug a phone charger.

Tomorrow, my boss's gonna drop by at my work place and will give me a pay slip, as usual, I won't be opening it, I just remembered I ripped the last one as soon as I got it, alone of course. Yes, there's a high chance that I won't be seeing him, so, I have nothing to worry about I guess.

I want my memory back though, I'm like being denied access to my short term memory, unless I see the evidence of the things I did, I don't remember them. 10mins ago, an hour, a day, or a week ago, it doesn't matter, and I need to remember my future appointment too, I gotta work on good system, a big reminder on the fridge or something.

Mood wise, there's no spike tonight so far, I'll work for another an hour or so, and I can't tell how many hours of sleep I'll be getting, I can't even guess 'cos I don't remember if I had enough sleep last night, I didn't have many thoughts zipping through today, I just can't trust what my body's telling me past few days.

This brings me to another thing, that is I realized that I really don't like change, a slight change in my life like ,putting on an undershirt 'cos the temperature's going down. Maybe I'm worrying too much, I been always like this, a little late to start putting on seasonal clothing. I don't know, I just don't wanna catch cold, I can't miss work, never. I've been taking things easy at work, now my boss knows some about me, now it's more important than ever to show him that I could perform like I'd been doing the past 2 yrs.

On the job front, I'mma have to go in early on next Tuesday, it is after my Monday off, yea,,not on a regular schedule but I'm gonna make it, fake it, whatever. Once I get there, it'll be alright though, it's going to be busy, they do this weekly sale on Tuesday, it'll take my mind off things. This job is not a concession I chose to make, I just got really lucky, I did and will think about my job more towards the end of the year I suppose, it's inevitable. Is this the reason why I usually feel sucky around December or around my birth month?

An year long experiment, withtout so much of a goal, it started. Now I feel that I'm supplied with tools to dig deep into the past, the present and the future, I forgot to mention that I was feeling pretty much emotionless all day, then again this is still living for me. I am NOT, afraid. Might be too early to call it a progress. I am just good with myself, I can be better than myself a year ago, two, all of it. Thanks to whomever took the time to read this, you guys teach me things, thank you and have a nice rest of the year.