Quote:
Originally Posted by Scrm0
I met someone with bipolar disorder and borderline...I really like her and she likes me as well, but its very hard to find out how to get closer, or how to handle her fluctuation. She's important to me, but sometimes she totally refuse me even if i just try to help, or want to speak something important. She has also have drug problems. I want to make her life better. I need some advice...please help me if you have experiences or any ideas. Thank you
I tried so far to dissuade her about drugs, but it's just made her angry, and our evening ended immediatley.
I'm trying to lead her back to her original profession, sometimes she accept my words, but mostly she grow sad.
I always highlight her good attributes, mostly she says: "Don't woo to me...i can't handle it"
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Your motivations toward wanting to help her are not bad things in and of themselves but to want ot be with someone in a relationship on that basis is shaky at best. More often than not this is not true love but a need on your part to be a caretaker of someone.
In order to truly be in love and love someone you have to accept them as they are here and now and be ready to face everything with them without trying to change, fix or help them out of what you see as a weakness for them. Already you are putting yourself in the shining knight role and this is not what you want in a relationship. You need to be her equal and there to be with her regardless of the problems she may have, her MI, challenges and everything.
Most likely you can't accept her drug usage, first off, which is understandable but fixing her to be with her is really not a good choice to make. Support her, and everything but put off being with her until you can accept her as she is. Perhaps she can get help and become stable and at that point you can see if you still "love" her?