crosstobear, your post is totally on point. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, very insightful and accurate. It's so true that these labels can be so damning. I have been working for a long time to get BPD off my psych records and it's been way harder than it needs to be. Thankfully, the therapist I currently have is working with my psychiatrist to get that label off my records as it is not only incorrect, but as you said totally damning and it's prevented me from getting proper treatment for my NPD for years. I had the BPD label slapped on me when I was a teenager, and yes I am still a tad bit bitter about it I won't lie.
I have a copy of the DSM-5 (and yes, I have read the entire thing) and I am very disappointed that they aren't using the spectrum method to diagnose PD's and just sticking to the categories. The categorical behavioral method of diagnosing these disorders is full of flaws and all the traits listed overlap with each other all over the place. For example one feeling that they are socially inept can be an avoidant trait, but I have a Schizotypal PD relative who talks about the same thing. I think the categorical method of diagnosing PD's is a huge mess and a frankly pathetic excuse for "professional" diagnostics.
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Just an example, I knew a 26 year old woman that was very high in BPD, NPD, and histrionic traits and was I believe labeled with BPD. She was one of the most immature, irresponsible, arrogant and mean individuals I have met in my life, more than most people that I've known with a PD label. She couldn't hold down a job for a week without flipping out on coworkers or the manager and getting kicked out- her life was a complete rollercoaster of adolescent immaturity. It's not because of her BPD label. It's because her parents didn't give her the ***-kicking she needed. They enabled her behavior, caved in to her tantrums, and gave her money whenever she needed it to shut her up. Of course such a person would see no need to change. Pavlov's dog.
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See, based on examples like this I think that BPD is such an overused label. There are currently ten personality disorders, TEN. Yet most woman in particular get the BPD label slapped on them regardless of their actual symptomology(I was one of those people, I fit NONE of the BPD criteria except having a bad temper, which in the context of NPD makes more sense... It's not just about X symptom with no context, it's about your inner motivations, beliefs, thoughts, and feelings or sometimes lack thereof.) From this description she sounds like she has HPD and not BPD. Also, this description totally reminds me of one of my ex's, heh. My ex could not stand that I would not enable the histrionic behavior and that I was so indifferent about it. I dumped this person and didn't look back once. This person attempted to assassinate my character all over the internet but failed miserably. I did not do any of what I was accused of doing. I'm not saying I'm a saint, because I am a firm believer in logic and I objectively know that my NPD behavior does hurt people sometimes permanently... But this person never mentioned anything that I actually in all likely hood
did do. My ex certainly displayed all the criteria for HPD though of course since I am not a professional I can't say for certain that's what it was, I can only go off of what I observed.
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I like this thread a lot. For fellow PD's, don't let a label limit you. After all, what the **** do they know about your subjective experience. Take from it whatever helps you become a better person, and don't let it prevent you from doing anything positive for your life.
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I think everyone who posts in this section of the forums should read this. You're absolutely correct. A label has its uses, like sure saying I have NPD is a shorthand way to explain my personality "dysfunction", but it is not the be all and end all of who I am. I am not a disorder. I am a person, infinitely more complicated than the nine criteria for NPD that I without a doubt meet. I am not simply a Narcissist and nothing more, there are many non psychiatric labels that I use to define who I am.