(((((gostryter)))))
You are NOT alone. So many people here care about you. You know I do.
I really do understand yr fear about yr new T, but he will not brush you off cos u think you're fat, he will want to help you, he won't want you to leave as soon as you arrive, he will accept you, and Im sure he'll try his damned hardest to see who you are.
Try and keep safe ok ((((big huggs))))