Hi Gostryter,
Im glad your hanging in there.Going to T,even after a year,still gets me anxious.I hear ya.Best to try to keep busy so you dont think about it too much.
You sound so much like me sometimes its scary....the self talk and threats to yourself......I find ,if you can,engage in some conversation with a friend,take your dogs for a walk just try not to concentrate on anything but the moment.
Thinking of you,feel free to pm.