She thought about me. That's what. It meant so much to me to know that she was thinking about me. She would never day "Hey, thinking about you," but DAMN IT a random text is as close to that as you'll ever get with her. There is subtext. She said...well, it doesn't matter...but she SAID "you popped into my mind to an extent that I couldn't ignore it."

Meanwhile, I'm busy self-destructing and, for some reason, trying to ruin my relationship with my ex. FFS, she showed up at the bar where I've been all evening unannounced to try to talk through some stuff, and all I could say is "I wish you weren't here." I meant it, but at the same time, I didn't. She loves me so much, but in don't know why. I cheated on her with this girl. I told her about it the next day, but that doesn't change what happened. I moved out of the house we bought, I have been distant, I don't talk to her much, I've used her for sex a couple of times (Lord knows this other girl wasn't putting out...a man has needs, after all). Yet still she sticks around. I don't know if it's a sign she is really strong and confidant in what we had, or if she is like me; glutton for punnishment.