Okay, in my case, it's more like/dislike.

We keep going up and down, good session then bad session.

Last week was a bad session. She told me she needed to change my appointment times. She didn't ask. She said I'm flexible because I don't have a job. I was really hurt. I felt like she didn't care that it messes up my schedule on that day, that the lack of consistency is really bothering me, and that she didn't at least ask me nicely.

So I got fed up. I went T shopping this last week. I found 2 potential Ts. One turned out to have tighter boundaries than my T! And she thought that instant termination was okay. Second T seemed nice. Her boundaries were somewhere btwn first T and my T. But she wanted me to go through Medi-Cal and she was only going to offer 30min appointments if I did!

Well, I saw my T today. And what do you know, it was a good session. We talked about how I felt about changing my appointments. I even was honest and tild her I didn't like her and I went T shopping. And what does she do? She gives me advice on how to find my next therapist! We both were cracking up. It was like she was helping me get rid of her.

We also talked about my grievance letter. I gave it to her so she could edit it for me. I told her about how I keep reading about terminations here on PC. I told her it makes me feel like maybe my type of termination is normal and maybe I'm just making a big deal out of it. She told me I wasn't making a big deal out of it, and that what my ex-T did is wrong. She said it's up to the board to determine if ex-T was ethical or not, but that she thinks it does matter that I'm filling no matter what the outcome. So for once, w/o me asking for it, she listens to me and validates my feelings!

So now I like her again.

My group T thinks that she's not the T I want, but the T I need. Maybe he's right. And one of the group members told me it took several months with his T for him to feel a connection. So maybe I just need to be more patient and give it more time. It is a rebound relationship, and it's rare for those to survive. I wonder if things would be better btwn new T and me if ex-T didn't make her the middleman. Maybe now that ex-T is out of the picture, my T and I have a glimmer of hope that we can make the relationship work.