As with all PD's in general the literature tends to be about "saving the victim" or "getting rid of the PD in your life". I'll admit there are some people that are beyond ****ed up. But your average PD person just requires certain types of people and a management of expectations. Rather, a certain environment. Let me illustrate further.

If I was a sniper in Syria right now fighting ISIS, I would love to be a sociopath. Why? Because it's functional. I don't know what addictions I'd develop if I had to study a person through a lens for the better part of the day and come to intimately know him only to paint the floor with his brain at the end of the day. I wouldn't be capable of doing that on a regular basis if I had a conscience, and if I rationalized it for some ideal- freedom, justice, revolution, etc- It'll come back to haunt and destroy me later on in life after the war. Added bonus, when the enemy calls in the big guns, being a sociopath means I can drop my ****, run like hell, and get into civvies, and pass myself off as a noncombatant without a flinch.

So, what it comes down to is how functional it is for you and for the people that you want to or need to keep in your life. You must learn to adapt. PD or not, being a human means you're capable of chameleonism. Even non-PD's are chameleons. You put on your game face at work and act your role, you come home you let loose. You pile high the dirty jokes around your drinking buddies, but put on the suave and sophisticated mask when you're out meeting people in a club, or whatever. There are so many layers and personas within a person that adapting becomes a matter of gaining self-awareness and insight and being able to turn on different parts of yourself in different settings. It's constant management, but that's life in general.

I'd say there are several ways to gain this crucial element of self-awareness. And before I state them, let me repeat. Self-awareness is crucial. In fact, most normal people don't have a good sense of self-awareness, but if you do have self-awareness you'll be a very powerful individual. If you can learn to master yourself and your emotions you can survive just about any situation. It's easy to understand but tough to actually do. You can learn from fellow people here, you can try to gain insight from self-aware NPD's, but what helps is a very understanding therapist who is willing to see past a label and who will challenge you enough to learn. Go out into different settings and environments and see how you act or react to situations, come back and talk to your therapist about it or post here. Self-awareness take hard work and it's never fully achievable but if you have more of it, you'll be more successful. And it'll help you stop before acting in a knee-jerk way that would alienate people in your life. Ultimately what works best for everyone is different. Here's what worked for me-

I read every day, but reading doesn't do much but make me about to masturbate with theories that are just products of other people's minds, anyway. I ended up getting close to some very patient people who on the one hand didn't enable me or even allow a second of my ********, and on the other hand were decent enough to allow me to grow and become a better person. I owe these people a lot of my improvement in quality of life. Then, I got into existentialism which is one of the most validating philosophies out there and one of the best ways by which to attain self-awareness and overall improvement in life. In conjunction with years of therapy, years of making terrible mistakes and ruining relationships, and some well-meaning hardasses in my life that weren't afraid to rip open my wounds to show me what I do to others, I was able to slowly gain some insight. I ended up pursuing a clinical career and now work in this capacity with clients who have MI and substance abuse problems. Helping others and analyzing others always add the element of learning more about yourself. That plus the supervision and feedback I get from colleagues adds. It's a multifaceted approach and I wish I can say I have achieved the awareness I want, but I've got lots more to go.

Try multiple approaches all at once, and don't forget the role of environment and feedback. Some people will bring out the worst in you and make you worse in terms of PD-type behavior. Learn to spot them (you usually feel super comfortable around them) and avoid them if you want to change these behaviors. And also, take stock of what areas of life your traits may actually help you in. Everyone has a bad side, it becomes a matter of managing it. Hope that helps.