So I had my first tx of ECT this past Friday, and then another today.

The first one was rough. I felt like someone took a baseball bat to my head. I woke up crying with a splitting headache. My temples were so sore it hurt to chew, and the day after all of the muscles in my neck and shoulders were so sore I could hardly move or swallow.

I saw my pdoc and told him, and had my second treatment today. It was a walk in the park. No headache waking up and no pain in my temples. I'll see if I stiffen up tomorrow, but based on today it seems much better.

Except emotionally I feel like absolute garbage. Like a step above suicidal. I feel like I'm going to cry, a sense of impending doom and a feeling that everything is hopeless. It's like the depression is so much worse after waking up. I'm not in crisis but almost wish my hubby were staying home with me tomorrow. I just feel devastated and a feeling of dread.