So, I was silent for some weeks, partly because I was terribly busy with work and with the relocation, partly because I felt fine and didn't feel I needed to check in here.

Yesterday I went to Rome for my first real appointment with a T, I don't know yet if she is going to be my actual T or not, because she is very busy so she will let me know in due time. She says we have to see each other 4-5 more times in order to better understand my issues and needs. That's fine to me.

I told her I feel bad almost every evening, explained to her what I feel and she told me this is a dissociative symptom called depersonalization. I have suffered from it in the past but it was very different, at that time I couldn't feel my body at all, not even if I touched it. This time it is very different, but she says this is it anyway. I really liked her, so I tend to think what she says is true. But it scared me like hell to know I might have such symptoms without even being aware of it.