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amuseable said:
It feels like agony sometimes and other times it feels like ecstasy. Not for the faint of heart!

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so SO true...! thank you so much for your reply... i know deep in my heart this is how it "should" be... i think i will come out of this experience a stronger person... more able to cope with life... but there is an element of this relationship, this love, from which i will never recover... and i think overall i am grateful for that... i am grateful to open myself up to such strong feelings... to feel safe... appreciated... for probably the first time in my life...

nothing will take that away... its something i shall hold on to forever... and you are right... i think if many people knew how therapy can feel... they wouldnt do it... but for me... i will never regret it...

tough night... tough waiting 4 days til i see T again... i think i will try to write some of this down to read to her... sometimes just having these feelings heard is enough to make them so much more managable...

thank you again for your reply... knowing i am not alone in feeling this way is a major comfort... take care... have a great weekend... Nikki x