Darkness: Intellectual IQ and Emotional IQ are two different things. I'd venture to guess that in order to avoid emotions/emotional connections, you intellectualize/are very cerebral about things, and that's OK up to a point. However, doing that does negate whatever emotions you are experiencing at a particular time. So while it's ok to try to control emotions and involve logic if an emotion is overwhelming, however, doing that too much pushes them away and stuffs them so that they never truly are addressed or recognized. They simply are running in the background causing anxiety and, loneliness, physical problems and a whole myriad of other things. Loneliness comes as a result of not being able to express emotion with someone else. Loneliness isn't quelled by intellectualized conversation/socializing in general. You may be around a lot of people and I'd bet you still feel alone/loneliness often. Isolated even in a crowd.

From some of your other posts, you say you find it difficult to trust people. Part of not being able to trust people comes from not having emotional connections with people. If you aren't talking on a deeper level with people, you don't learn how to read other people either and sense their emotions. Trust is a feeling also. When you squash your feelings, you not only squash the bad ones, you squash the good ones/necessary ones. And, by necessary I mean, the ones that are needed in order to feel connected to the world and people.

If you keep squashing emotions and internalizing/intellectualizing and not being able to open up, even if you have a committed relationship with someone, you will still feel alone and so will they. It's a catch-22 for you.

You want and need the company of a woman and yet you fear it at the same time. emotionally vulnerable and at the other person's mercy, and pain from the eventual breakup because nothing lasts forever. -- It's true that relationships do end if they aren't the right ones anyway and usually people experience the hurt, process it and are able to move forward and accept it and do try again. What happens with you, likely, is that the emotional aspects of a breakup are squashed/unacknowledged and dumped on the pile of all the other stuff you've buried and it just never goes away. It compounds itself. Even though you think you aren't emotional, the emotions are there. You've numbed yourself not only to emotions, but to the world in general. If/when you attempt to have a real relationship, the end of it, is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
other person's mercy?

I have an awesome small tight-knit group of friends whom I talk to, but I don't do this unless I absolutely need to. -- I suspect that you are not sharing as deeply as you need to even with these people, otherwise, you wouldn't be experiencing so much loneliness. It is still very superficial in terms of connection.

"When I need advice, I either ask somebody without involving emotions too much or I simply Google my issue and learn what I need." -- You cannot get what you NEED from the internet.

Fear of Intimacy -- Usually, if someone has a fear of intimacy, in the mind of that person Intimacy is spelled "Into Me See". They will go to great lengths to prevent people from really knowing them. There are things that they don't want people to know about them and usually, it's not as a big a deal as they themselves have spun it to be or blaming themselves for certain things that weren't really their fault. They don't like themselves for some reason and they don't want the other people judging them like they judge themselves. There are very deep roots for this kind of an "issue".

IF that's you, exploring things deeply would be so worth it. Have you noticed my screen name? That's me after having gone down the road of exploring my emotional unavailability as a fairly young woman and doing that work has allowed me to experience life with a new set of eyes and a greater understanding and be able to support and help people myself.

Life can be very good and full, it's worth it.