Quote:
Originally Posted by fosterthehuman
every other person is better than i am. i know it sounds like i'm just thinking really negative thoughts rn (and i used to think this too) but it's actually true. no matter what i do, no matter how experienced i am, no matter how long i stay somewhere, no matter how old i am, no matter what i look like, i'm always the rookie. i'm treated like the bottom of barrel. it's happened all my life.
i feel like an outcast in my family, i feel like people that i try to become friends with get quickly bored of me and move on to someone more interesting. it keeps happening and nothing is changing.
i just give up. i don't want to be hopeful anymore. i'm not worth it.
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I'm sorry you're going through this! I'm right there with you! There is nothing I can say to make you feel better - unfortunately. It will pass! It's hard to stay positive when so much negative surrounds you. I'm in the service industry as well and we're constantly surrounded my negativity! I think I'm developing a second personality, which I don't think it a good thing... but it helps me cope with the BS of the restaurant/bar. I know you're having a hard time, but as an experiment, are you willing to try role playing next time you're working? Make up an alter ego and roll with it? Make this person fearless, confident, cocky even... whatever it is that causes you anxiety when you work? idk, I'm spitballing here. But I know when I'm down, I reach for MY other me to take over while at work to make it happen! Best of luck... don't let the service industry bring you down!!! It's unforgiving and cruel!! Find a different job... something that's more fitting of your skills...
Oh, and I'm sorry JohnCrow, I disagree, we are ALL special... we are all different, which makes us all special!