I started bruising myself on purpose when I was about 14, but it wasn't until years later, after my cousin had been murdered and his wife committed suicide that I started cutting. That first time it was just 2 small cuts, and it was like a drug. Suddenly all the tension was released, and I could relax enough to fall asleep. I've gone through periods with no self harm, and then when the stress gets overwhelming I go back to it worse than ever. Now, even in the hottest months of summer, I have to have my arms covered almost down to my elbows covered.