Hey everyone, I'm so sorry I'm only replying now. Was drowned in school work all summer! I'm so touched by your heartfelt replies to this thread and thankful you've had the courage to share your experiences and feelings

Thank you for your support, avlady

I don't want to tell anyone how to feel or think, but personally, I cannot accept corporate punishment as a means of bringing up children at all. I feel parents should be people kids can trust completely and whom they can go to with their problems. In my childhood, the threat of violence only made me FEAR my parents, thus wanting to keep away from them and keep secrets from them, meaning I grew up alone.. I feel one of the most valuable things parents can and should give their children is SAFETY.

(((((((DackenDane)))))))

I'm so sorry to hear your mother treats you like that sounds absolutely awful! You don't deserve ANY of it.

I can relate somewhat.. When I was growing up, whenever my parents were fighting, my mum kept saying that if it wasn't for me and my brother, she'd have left long ago. I was like, thanks Mum, so what you're saying is if we didn't exist, you'd have had a much better life.. Her own mum also plain told her she regretted getting pregnant with my mum because it meant she had to stay with my mum's dad who was a violent alcoholic.

It's completely mental they're putting their unhappiness on us kids who never asked to be born! They made their OWN choices, and I believe the reason they blame us is because they simply cannot take responsibility for their actions, feelings, nor for trying to make their lives better now. I'm determined that if I ever have children, this lunacy stops with me!

My mum's controlling, too, and kept trying to tell me what to study and how all her investment in me was for nothing if I did something other than what she wanted me to do. I wanted to go work abroad, but she went absolutely mental when I told her. In the end, I went to uni to keep the peace, although I didn't let her dictate what I studied. However, I just ended up hating myself for not listening to my own inner voice in the first place, and dropped out of uni to begin therapy.

For what it's worth, I think it's fantastic you've found what you'd like to do with your life I think many parents are against their children's wish to become actors, so maybe you could find an online community where you could share your frustration with your mother not supporting you!

I'm so sorry for everything you went through, Lildevil What you described sounds like a good way to look at it, and I'm glad you've found a way to move on. Just know that it's OK to be sad and grieve the losses you experienced as a child, too. Your feelings are completely OK and understandable. I hope your Aunt treated you well, and that you find people to love and trust now

Teeandtheneck, I completely empathise with you. My parents have been together for over 40 years, but as a child, I actually wanted them to get divorced.. Maybe then I could have had the chance to experience something other than continuous fighting and living in fear. Maybe my mum would have been happier and eased up on trying to control me. Maybe she could have met a nice man who would have actually wanted to be my dad!

I also feel like I didn't connect with my mum - how could I, with a raging lunatic like her!

I think you're absolutely right - daring to be vulnerable and share your innermost self with others is how we connect I wish you all the best!

Zacnme, I'm so sorry your mum abandoned you It must have been so difficult for you, and it's really unfair you had to go through it! I'm glad you are doing OK now