Thanks for your help and I'm sorry if I seem resistant to what you have to say, I'm taking your advice by all means, but I'm known for my stubborn attitude lol

I know that I need a therapist, its just that right now my options are very limited due to how limited and unstable my current income is. On top of it all, the state that I live in has a terrible mental health system The only option that's available to me is a public mental health center that I've went to twice, but due to the fact that I have to ride a bus which makes a 15 minute drive into a 1-2 hour one and the fact that they want me there at 8AM to do a full intake which would take 3-4 hours, I have absolutely no desire to deal with it along with all of my other problems. I hate waking up early and riding the bus and even if I do get in, I can't rely on the buses to get me where I need to be in time. I would rather wait until I have the money for a phone therapist which would mean that I would have to wait longer without getting help.

Working a lot for a little is illogical and wasteful to me.

But I digress. I'll take what you said to heart regardless of my doubts and lack of motivation