Sounds to me like you are a decent guy and you actually want a relationship, but you can't handle one at the moment, so you cling to a girl who plays mind games with you.
Why do you think that your worth depends on whether the bartender likes you or not? Shouldn't you love yourself for what you are and see if people like when you are sober and honest? Maybe it would be best to take things slow for you and stay sober until the confusion goes away? You sound hurt, and it seems like your self-esteem could use some care - not your ego.
Please be safe