|
Thanks wendy for your comments... I feel like i learned about these things at a young age... i had my first boyfriend when i was in 6th grade. That is when i learned about dependancy and heartbreak. Maybe i was dependant on him (his name was Chris...) but there hasn't been a single solitary person who has been able to say the same kind of wise words that made everything feel better for me than he did... the closest person to that... before everything went rotten, and when he was a good friend and everything i needed in my life; Evan. Sadly. But Chris had been the one to teach me these things, he became my best friend, and i talked to him every single day, because that was the time in my life when my problems started, and he recognized that i was dependant on him, and while he was always there for me, he would sometimes say something like, "i might be moving..." to try and get me to not be dependant... he was the one who kept me from doing drugs... he has been the hugest influence on my life... i stayed friends with him up to 8th grade, and i moved. Also in 8th grade was my second boyfriend. I learned about dependance and heartbreak from him too. Accept he had cheated on me with my best friend... and they kept their relationship from me for 3 months, behind my back. That hurt. Then when i got into highschool, from those experiences, which only lasted a little more than two months each (me and chris had been off and on) that is the point at which I would shut off in all of my relationships. At about 2 months. No offence, but from that, i felt like rolling my eyes at your "you are learning about relationships" comment. I have seen other people's relationships, i have experienced mine, though none of them were long term because i shut off, i don't feel like i am "just learning" anymore. And i definitely feel stupid saying that because i know that i am young... and its the stupid teenage dilema... of always feeling that they're right, or invincibility... i don't know which one this would fall under... but JESUS, why do i have to feel so belittled in my feelings when talking to older people?! Trying to convince them that i actually do know... but do i? Grr, okay, i'm getting myself worked up... i gotta stop... so there's my early history in dating... lol. Maybe that'll give you, and others, some deeper insight. I'm just so afraid of shutting off on this one because i haven't been able to control it with any "relationship" that i have had in highschool.
šPhae
|