Hey, Scarlet,

Just wanted to add that the push/pull thing is quite common even if you don't have BPD. Wanting something, but not being sure if it is safe, and having a hard time dealing with uncertainty is quite distressing even for people who don't meet diagnostic criteria.

And, it's really nice to see you doing so well! I'm very happy for you, even if things aren't smooth sailing, they're so obviously better.