Speak to an attorney about how to extract your investment in the house. Then, I gather, you could afford to move away from him (and end the engagement).

You are not an awful person.

I suggest seeing a therapist in order to help you figure yourself out. You may have a tendency to self-sabotage, or excessive passivity, as when you bought a house when your professional plan is to relocate frequently, or when you even consider and discuss having children with someone you want to be away from. Is he abusive? Do not have any children with him or you will be tied to him for life (married or unmarried).