I talked to my T last night. She said that her standard few is $150, but now that she is going to be taking payment out of pocket she is charging clients who make above a certain amount $120 and clients who make under that amount $80. So, for me, the fee is $80. I expressed a little concern over this, and she said she might be able to come down to $75, but no lower than that. That was above the number I had in my head. In my head, the number I could afford was $50. However, in the moment, I agreed to the $75/$80. I don't want to lose my T over $25/week. So, after I hung up with her, I called my dad. We worked something out where he is going to help me for awhile, while I try to cut down on other expenses and come up with a way to work this amount into my budget. It definitely puts a strain on things-- and it sucks to know that there is a $ amount attached to my relationship with T-- but I made the decision that I am just going to move forward with the way it is. I want her back, and it's worth it to me to have that support and consistency. I've tried out other therapists and I don't want them; I want her. So, we are going to have a phone session next week and then, the week after, I will see her in person again for the first time!

I will, however, have to work through some of my hurt feelings with her. In order to move forward, I need to tell her how it made me feel that she didn't follow through on the referrals. My hope is that we can get through that in a session or two, and then just move on from there. I really want to get back to having the relationship we had before the break. I miss her!