Hi Tongalee,

It's such an intense set of feelings you are describing. Not only that things in life aren't going great, but you are also making changes around therapy. Not easy to process both of these things at once.

I wonder if you can give yourself some space in not making too many changes to your therapy process until things settle down a bit? Can you commit or guarantee at least two sessions for a set period of time, to give yourself a sense of security and time to adjust?

I don't have a lot of experience, but my sense is having feelings or thoughts of seeking reassurance, comfort, safety or closeness with your T are a normal part of the process, and there will be times when they are intense and other times when they aren't. It's an extremely difficult thing to do, especially when you feel strongly -but if you can somehow acknowledge this with your T, raise it in a gentle or simple way, or ask a question about it - 'Is the fact that I look forward to seeing you a problem' or something like that, can mean that at least its in the room between you.

If there are things you can do for yourself - simple thing that are reassuring, then I'd turn the volume up on these too - take care,