Hi Francis and Friends, thank you so much for your words. I have to say it feels good to say exactly what I feel in the group and not be judged. My friends are not sensitive as I am, so they cope better with hiding their own feelings. I'm a "go get it" type of person and I just can't live with something if I don't understand it. This book from Dr. Karyn has been really good and hard to read. I read every section at least two times because it really feels like my brain doesn't absorbs at the first time. The way I see it and exactly as you said, I can't really run away from my sensitiveness. It seems like everything I feel is too deep, joy or sadness. Today I feel much better cause my dark day is gone but when I felt sad I don't see a way out of things. Fear, loneliness and hopeless blind me and until I start accepting it and thinking about solutions or good things, I will drag myself to the darkest sad side of myself. Trying to accept who I am, my emotions and cope with them has been the hardest thing I have ever done in life. I want to master it though because I realized that's the only way I can live a normal and fulfilling life. Respecting the way I feel about things and coping with them is the only way to go. I really struggle with consistency though. I feel ashamed at work that some days I'm laughing out loud and making jokes with everybody and the next it's hard even to say good morning. I spend the whole day praying nobody comes to bother me and those are the days that I obviously get the most miserable customers.
I am really interested about the literature you mentioned, I will look it up and read after I finish Dr. Keryn's book. It is a hard slow process. I'm trying to creat a calendar of things I should do to remind myself of good things I have and with that creat good emotions that will keep myself going and happy but it is hard to fallow it.

Thank you for all your input. I find that praying and having someone who is more spiritual really helps me. I have come to realize that sensitive people like me have the need to connect, touch and feel. Denying our need is just worse. There is long time I have been wanting to volunteer in something but my job really gets my energy. I will go to visit a Church this weekend and I'm really hoping I like it. Church has always been a place I have connected with people, most of them have their hearts more opened and have compassion. They are usually good souls.

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