I stopped taking my meds (the last time...) because I was really worried about what it could be doing to my brain. I was on Seroxat (otherwise known as Paroxetine or Paxil) and experiencing so many of the side effects because I was rubbish at getting in to the habit of taking them, I'd forget on an almost daily basis despite leaving the blister packets anywhere from on my box of teabags to on top of the snooze alarm on my alarm clock, even attached to my house keys at one point. Despite this I don't think in 5 years I went through a single week where I took them every single day and definitely not at the same time of day on consecutive days.

I saw and read a lot of bad stuff about Seroxat, despite this I kept on taking it, I felt a bit stronger and less affected by other people's opinions, I felt less like everything around me hurt and as if I had a bit of a stronger outer shell, but I was still getting all sorts of side effects so I began to withdraw.

I withdrew over many months (18 to be exact) because the previous time, withdrawing over 9 months left me in a psychiatric hospital. Even though my taking them had been so scatty I still was left too afraid to leave my home and wanting to die. 18 months seemed to work but then again I relapsed with my eating disorder so I guess I'll never know.

Makes me doubly worried about taking anything else. Or to keep taking anything and not get cold feet, freak out over what happened last time and as a knee-jerk reaction to just stop taking what I would be taking. You experience things like the head-zaps, dizziness, mood swings, floor flying up at your face.... you do begin to wonder if there is irreparable damage occurring where you can't see it (in your brain).

So why do/would I suddenly stop taking my meds?

Fear.