Widening the tolerance window is a slow process. When I took DBT the first time six years ago, my window was small. I'd been coping by shutting everything down and I was a mess. The smallest thing would send me over the edge into target behaviors. When I took DBT this last year, even as it was my year of hell, I recognized that I was actually enduring a lot more than I did before. My target behaviors were few and far between.

Sometimes we don't give ourselves enough credit. As you use your skills, however incrementally, you will widen your window. I used this analogy in my group this last time and the facilitators thought it was a good one - we don't shame a child who is learning to walk and we expect a lot of bumps, bruises, and trip ups along the way. Instead we celebrate standing up, no matter how wobbly, we celebrate the first step, even if they land on their butt a millisecond later.

Idk about everything, I'm infrequent to PC these days, but I hope you take the time to give yourself credit.