Good posting.
Can you remember a time in your life before you ever thought of it as an option? I can, and I can also remember the first time I ever did think of it as a possibility. Part of me was so surprised. It was like my brain had taken a turning down a new and not welcome side road.

I have talked to other people about this or have had them bring up the subject with me. People have told me that they never, ever had a single thought about the possibility of suicide until they suffered a severe episode of depression. One person who told me this said she was in her 50s when this happened.

I think that there always has to be a first time when this makes sense and seems reasonable to us. Some people haven't reached that point yet in their lives. Others never will.

Some people have the empathy or intellectual ability to realize that other people can feel this way even if they don't. Others, as we see so often, don't have this ability, or don't have it yet.

Attitude toward suicide is generally considered to be part of a culture's values. There have been a few cultures in history that have considered suicide to be acceptable, but most cultures do not accept it, or accept it only for very specific situations. The last is the case in the US, so that's why I wouldn't be expecting any government-run centers for assisted suicide to be opening any time soon.

As far as conservative religious ideas about suicide go, I find those annoying and frustrating as well. I'm a Christian, but a member of a more liberal denomination. I used to belong to a more conservative one but left because my thinking changed.

That is so true. I think that more people than you'd think realize this, but don't know what to do about it.

I just started reading a book last night that a friend recommended. I didn't really know what it was going to be about. It's called Daring Greatly by Brené Brown, a US sociology researcher and author. Her work is pretty famous in the US, but I had never heard of her until recently.

What I was reading last night was talking a lot about what has happened to our culture in the US in recent times (last 15 years or so) that makes it possible for people to end up so isolated and with no one to be genuine with. She views it as something going on all over our country.

In spite of spending probably 2/3 of the last 25 years thinking about suicide, I'm currently in a place where I think my brain is not healthy when it tells me I should kill myself. This viewpoint may have come somewhat from going through multiple episodes of severe depressions and always (so far) coming out of them and wanting to live. I acknowledge that my current viewpoint may be a time-dependent one, but it's what I believe right now.

I still completely understand and remember what it feels like to think that suicide is the most reasonable choice. Maybe once you've ever been in that place, you can't forget what it feels like.

Here's where the boilerplate message about seeking meds and therapy goes. (I do think they help.) Hugs.