Sorry for taking so long to get back into this thread, I am just....I don't know right now.

I have a meeting with the counselor person on Monday (may have said that in the first post? don't remember) but I am going to see what I can do there. Spoke to one of my friends who is sort of the only person who can relate to what's going on with me and is sort of close by, and she said that it may be good to consider taking a year off...I don't know, there's so many things that are worrying right now. What if I can't get back into it (now or over a year)? What if the arrangements don't work? What if I just can't do anything? I know I said this before, and I appreciate the support, but I am still worried about everything.

@Risu thank you, I managed to get myself to class most of this week (with benzos, but still) and I forced myself to stay in class through a coming panic attack. Not sure how I did that, but it was something special for me. My psychiatric nurse is trying to work that into me, over the "just do it" bit. She says that I need to do the opposite of how I feel....which is much easier said than done when your mind is not allowing it.

@LettinGo Thank you for the support, it's good to know that I have people rooting for me and thinking about me.