I have had ect twice. Both times it was Indeed a lifesaver. The first time was after a suicide attempt. I was in a deep, unbelievably dark depression to the point where I wasn't eating or even getting up, I was just laying in bed all day. I had tried all medication and nothing worked. It was do ect or go to the state hospital for a long time until they could figure out something to help. I'd already been to the state hospital for kids so I knew how horrible it was. So I chose ect and I'm so glad I did. I was able to live six years med and therapy free, with only minor mood swings.

When I got bad again I struggled for two and a half years trying everything under the sun. Last fall I was cycling back and forth between mixed and severely depressed. I couldn't work or take care of myself or my family. I asked for ect this time because I knew it helped last time and again, no meds were working. And it saved my life again. I have been cycling only minorly for about 10 months now. I've only been hospitalized once and it was because my husband died and I had a complete freak out. But that's to be expected even without BP. So I'm glad I did the ect because without it I might have killed myself when he died. Especially if I was in a severe episode.

But it did come at a price. My memory has been terribly damaged. It's starting to come back now. My cognitive functioning was also impaired for at least six months. It was hard to hold down my job because of it. But I was able to do it. And I would do it all again if it meant saving myself from hell for the sake of my son. Absolutely.