hi all......... havent been here in awhille....had no internet but friend gave me her old pc so now im back...... things not much differnt for me, still stupid, things in my life have got better but still hate myself and keep thinking its all gonna go down the drain. but also still have not got help so i know its my own fault but the idea of asking for help still scares me alot. anyway just wanted to check in. sorry if i sound stupid i am on pain meds right now after a minor surgey the other day so i'm a little loopy ,can think ok but writing is hard, but wanted to check in cause ive missed this place. anyway ill be reading and tryin to catch up on whats happning....hello to new people and hope everyone is doin ok.......