I have those desires too. Benzos and booze are just really good at what they do. I don't see it as altering our state. Our states are pretty effed up anyway I see it as quieting that constant whatever it is that lives with us. At least that is how I feel. I try to keep it at one glass a night. Sometimes I don't want any. When i feel ****** or stressed out I generally want to drink more but when I feel it hit my head in a certain way I know that is trouble and I stop.

for me it is not just the wine but the ritual...the treat...

sometimes there are other things that can stand in in those ways.

Maybe going to nothing is too much for you right now. Can you just nurse one glass??? Put a bunch of ice cubes in there?

sorry i assumed you were drinking white like me.

by the way kudos to you for being responsible about it.