Hello, been awhile since I posted anything here, but I've been recovering very well! I feel back to normal but am continuing medication and therapy.

Anyway.. I'm about a month away from returning to 40 hour per week slavery.. and I'm just not feeling it. I'm a free Spirit and my Spirit hates being forced to be an hourly slave just to get by. I wanna learn to brew craft beer (I even have my company named) and I wanna build guitars and I wanna do charity work and make hot pepper sauce to sell, etc.... but the start up to do much of this will be more than I could afford at a 40 hour per week slave-wage job.
I'm not lazy, I can outwork just about anyone.. I just hate being forced to do it for hardly anything.. because good jobs are not easy to find.. if they were everyone would have them lol. I've prayed to win the lotto, but I can't usually afford to spend the money on tickets, so I don't see that happening. It's not like it was 150 years ago where people can sustain their lived without working for other people.. heck even 30 years ago that was more doable. Why can't I 'Win For Life' and hit on one of those scratch offs so I could live my own way, like my Spirit is telling me I need to live. I'm a good person, why can't I catch one of those huge breaks? That's be a God send, it'd be amazing!

Has anyone else felt like this before? Their Spirit telling them to 'be free' but being forced to conform to the 40 hour slavery? Did therapy help? Did medication help?