I'm thinking of you, this isn't an easy spot to be in.
Even in my short time in therapy I've often found myself wincing about talking about something, struggling to open up, fighting a sense of both wanting to let something go, get it off my chest, have it on the table and the total fear of how I will feel when I talk about it, how I will manage the emotions, what my T will think all of it is scary.

Things that have helped me - definitely take care of yourself, definitely talking about how you feel is easier than talking about the actual subject. Listing your fears and sharing these with your T. Talking about ways you could get extra support in the session. Asking for strategies to make it easier. Are there other things you'd like to talk about first that would be more reassuring? Is there something you need to hear your T say?

And definitely ,move at your own pace, and find the balance between building trust and comfort with your T and challenging yourself to take little risks. I think a lot of time can be saved if you are willing to take little risks, but if you take them too soon, or don't do it on your own terms, then that won't help.

All strength to you,