He told me I probably didn't have it. It was, indeed, to early for him to consider it, I think. If I were him I wouldn't have told me anything, either confirming or denying the possibility, but he was probably acting like your therapist, trying to make me focus on what I felt.
I was reading this link
here, and they list many traits that are known BPD traits. Many ressonate with me a lot, but I don't think I push my partner that much anymore, even if I do, sometimes, idealize a relationship where I could be away from the world - I'm pretty much aware of how dangerous this is.
When I think of it, I find that I act more out of fear of rejection than out of a need to be accepted. I don't see myself changing to be acepted, but I avoid situations because I don't feel I belong there. When I absolutely can't avoid it, I'll be quiet and uninterested. I tend to speak my mind, to be honest, and I'm used to a certain level of critique as the career I chose involves lots of it, sometimes of the harsh kind. I learned not to take it personally, but if I'm around people who are loud and/or criticize a lot, I tend to shy away and avoid saying things.