It's been 3 months of mania now. I've no idea how much money I have spent apart from a few days ago.

In a span of two days I have got my hair trimmed and dyed for $135.77 and my eyebrows threaded and tinted for $33.4 and I got a spray tan for $23.14.

I've gone against my pdocs advise of not drinking. I've been drinking quite a bit and getting up early for work.

I haven't been keeping up with my medication ever and I am smoking like a chimney. Now Idk if this is normal. Heck Idk the definition of normal.

But it feels so right to be spending all this money and I am mostly not alone. There is now a rare day where I don't go out...it feels like an impulse because my mind wants me to go go go. But my body wants me to sleep. Aha.

Always going out and now I am dating a guy who I think sort of loves me.

But everyday I'll think that this is the last day of feeling so high up on the ceiling but it turns out that the next day is the same as the last. I'm not remembering the days or the date of the week. I'm finding it hard. It's getting harder.